我是一个隐藏着严重赌博疾病的赌徒，赌博，摧毁我的心灵和我的生活。虽然我想放弃它，但却没那么容易。它是一种疾，别人的意见确实让我想到，从现在开始就需要采取行动来制止这种疾病蔓延在我的生活里。开始赌博时，我才16岁，和许多人一样，第一次下赌注的时候我赢了。那一天下来，我已经失去了30元，你可能会说，这是很少的钱啊，但是从此就在我的心里埋下了祸根。我现在41岁，我可能已经损失了约$ 250,000.而在短短的18个月里，我输掉了 50,000美元。是的，我这几年赌博过来也赢过几次，但这些都是很短暂的，总是在痛苦中结束。当我是27的时候，2年的时间我放弃了赌博，所以我知道我是可以做到的。我发现它很容易，但我是被迫采取行动来制止这样的事情再发生，因为那是我的前妻已经发现。但在2年后，我又慢慢重新开始赌博，我也不知道为什么。自从那次远离了赌博将近两年之后，而后，已经没有人再去理我，我一次又一次在自我控制失败之后再次去赌博。我跟自己开玩笑，如果我能够利用好赌博，我仍然可以享受它。赌博已经让直接或间接地失去我的前妻，我的家庭，我的企业和一个完整的自我。我计划今天再次去冷火鸡赌场，但是不是去赌博，包括网上投注，TAB键，乐透，甚至购买抽奖券或进入一个无足轻重的小费比赛都不再参与。这似乎对我来说比死还难受，但我知道，我还是抱着一些期待，希望没有直接触碰到我脑海里的东西，从而让自己无法控制事态的发展。我也想尝试加入某种赌博成瘾改革小组，以帮助我改掉赌瘾。我是否可以实现这一目标呢？只有时间才能告诉我，但我知道，如果我继续这样下去的话，我的生活会变得毫无价值。我也希望其他患有这种疾病的人在斗争中能够抗争到底！获得最好的结果！

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　　I am a closet problem gambler but it is destroying my mind and my life. As much as I want to give up it is not so easy. It is a disease. Reading the above comments does make me need to take action and stop this life threatning disease. I sarted gambling when I was 16 and like many others i won my 1st bet. By the end of that day I had lost that + the $30 I had on me. Minimal you may say but the pattern was set in stone. I am now 41 and have probably lost approx $250,000 since.Including $50,000 in the past 18 months. Yes I have had a few wins along the way but these are short lived and always end in pain. I gave up gambling cold turkey for 2 years when I was 27 so I know it can be done again. I found it easy but I was forced to take action because my now ex wife found out. After approx 2 years I slowly started again. Not sure why. Since seperating 2 1/2 years ago I now have no one to answer to and my self control fails me time and time again. I am kidding myself thinking that if I harness my gambling I can still enjoy it. That is total bullst ! Gambling has caused me to directly or indirectly lose my ex wife, my home, a business and my self integrity. I plan as of today to go cold turkey again and not gamble including internet betting, TAB, Lotto or even purchase a raffle ticket or enter a footy tipping comp. This may seem over kill but I know that being involved in something where I anticipate the reult of an event that I have no direct influence over triggers something in my mind that I cant control. I would also like to try join some sort of gambling addict reform group to help me through. Whether or not I can achieve this only time will tell, but I do know that if i continue my life is worthless. I also wish everyone else who suffers from this disease the very best in thier fight in giving up.GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT !